This Was Going to Be a Venting Post...

So I felt like venting today... which I almost did and still might. But anyway, first of all I would like to let you all know that I am going to put something in everyone of my posts (and probably everyone of my comments on your blog if you have one) that has to do with the lack of commenting until you all start commenting on my blog. :) It makes me feel so unloved when you don't comment! I kinda wonder if anyone ever reads this... so I decided to vent and sorry if I am not very good at venting like some of you (Morganne told me my venting is like happy venting), but I have my reasons for holding back. I hate feeling like I make my problems other people's problems too, for one. So here we go...

So a lot of you probably don't realize this (or at least I hope you don't think I do this), but I doubt myself a lot. I mean it isn't like I have depression or anything, but a lot of the time I just don't think I am good enough to do something or sometimes I think people are thinking things about me that they aren't, but that doesn't happen as often as it sounds. (I only say that because I know somebody will end up commenting and say something about how that is depression.) K I should really stop justifying myself just move on with venting... K, so you knows those days where it seems like a decent day, but then you come home and you think about the day and it seems like it was pretty bad or that the last week just wasn't your week? Well, that was basically my week and my day in a nutshell. I don't even know what was so bad about it. I just feel like it all went down almost completely opposite of how I wanted. Today, I feel like Jamie because I feel like I should be doing something or I planned to do something, but now I am just saying no. I just wanted to come home lay around and listen to emo music all day... only problem, I don't have emo music. So I had to live with my music and just laying around feeling sorry for myself. Part of the reason I am frustrated is because there are people who I feel have been acting around me or towards me or whatever. So then I come home from school today and realized a lot of things including how some of my friends have a different 'policy' as I call it towards one of my other friends favoring my other friend... or maybe it was they just haven't informed him of the 'policy' yet, but like I said I am feeling negative. So I come home and I get to watch David and Rudy. I just sat there almost the whole time feeling pissed off and confused. So I watched David and Rudy until after 5 when my mom came home... for an hour and a half... and now I get to watch them again. So my mom leaves and the babysitting/ puppysitting frenzy starts again. That wasn't the bad part, but Rudy has more bodily waste stops, aka bathroom breaks, than a diabetic before they realize they are diabetic. (Sorry Josh. That was just a way my mom described it earlier and I thought it fit.) Then, my clumsy butt of a brother has to hurt himself by falling while trying to stand up. This did not help because I am so frustrated and I have a headache.

Basically what I am trying to say is that I am not happy with the way things in my life have been going lately and I plan to change 'em. So I am sorry if I make some people unhappy, but I will not sit here and feel like life sucks because that is not the kind of person I am. (DANG IT! That emo music might have changed my outlook on like.) ;)